Archive | Humour

Jokes and humour about and for pilots

Some useful advice courtesy of the military and air force…

“Aim towards the Enemy.” – Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher “Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground.” – USAF “When the enemy is in range, so are you.” – Infantry Journal “It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.” […]

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Friday the 13th’s Flight 666 arrives safely in HEL

Today is Friday the 13th and we are happy to report that Finnair flight 666 or AY666 from Copenhagen to Helsinki (HEL) has landed safely. Not only that, the flight departed and landed ahead of schedule: For superstitious travelers, Helsinki happens to have the 3 letter designation HEL while flight AY666 from Copenhagen to Helsinki […]

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You’ll know it’s a no-frills airline if…

You’ll know it’s a no-frills airline if: They don’t sell tickets, they sell chances. All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out. Before the cheapest flights, the passengers get together and elect a pilot. If you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back. You cannot board the plane unless […]

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How confident are you about your software…?

At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer: “If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?” Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, […]

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You might be a redneck pilot if…

You might be a redneck pilot if: 1. Your stall warning plays DIXIE. 2. Your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points. 3. You think sectionals should show trailer parks. 4. You’ve ever used moonshine as AVGas. 5. Your 172′s wheel pants have mud flaps with a chrome silhouette of a reclining nude. […]

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