You’ll know it’s a no-frills airline if…

You’ll know it’s a no-frills airline if:

  • They don’t sell tickets, they sell chances.
  • All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
  • Before the cheapest flights, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
  • If you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back.
  • You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
  • Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
  • The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
  • When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.
  • The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
  • You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, “Just once.”
  • No movie. Don’t need one.
  • Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
  • You see a man with a gun, but he’s demanding to be let off the plane.
  • All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.

GolfHotelWhiskey.com - Ryanair Cartoon

‘Ryanair’ by Frank Boyle

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