Hat tip to the FlightSchoolList.com for posting this video of an increasingly exasperated KJFK ATC along with printing some of the hilarious one-liners from his transmissions:
Pilot: “808BL, you told us to follow the Embraer and that’s what we did”
Ground: “You follow the Embra-EHHH?!?!?”Ground: “Somebody didn’t do something right”
Ground: (to Jetblue 1069) “You can’t just do…you can’t just do…” *exasperated sigh* “…see, this takes so much energy, guys”
DAL929: “We’re Bravo, short of Victor”
Ground: “Yea, right….Who’s Bravo short of Victor??”Ground: “Delta 929, just follow the HAWKAAH”
DAL929: “Ok, well uhh, the Hawker’s 2 planes in front of us”
Ground: “GREAT! Delta 1869, you’re behind the HAWKAAH?”
DAL1869: “Correct”
Ground: *exasperated* “Jetblue 1069, you gotta just…do what i ask, sir”Ground: “Now i’m all screwed up…Jesus, Jetblue”
Ground: “Jetblue 707, i’m sorry, where didja say you were?”
JBU707: “Yes sir, we’re holding short of Echo”
Ground: “Short of Echo on WHEEH?”Ground: “Jetblue 35, what’s the problem?”
JBU35: “Who do you want us to follow?”
Ground: “You’re on Bravo, you’re short of Victor-Alpha, you’re abeam the Iberia?”
JBU35: “We’re abeam Alitalia on the left there”
Ground: “Abeam Alital??…alright, just hang on…Jetblue 179?”
JBU179 “Yessir, we’re ahh number 2 holding short of Victor-Alpha on Bravo”
Ground: “*&^(% who’s the first Jetblue on BRRRRRRAVO short of Victor-Alpha?!”Ground: “Jetblue 179, you’re the second one, follow the ompany ahead”
JBU179: “Follow the company ahead, Jetblue 179 we’ll visit you at the duty free”
Ground: “Not the one in front of ya, but the one in front of him, the one in front of ya’s an arrival”
JBU179: “Sounds good, we’ll follow the guy that’s following the Alitalia”and the BEST for last:
JBU707: “Kennedy Ground, good evening, Jetblue 707 we’ve got Hotel, and we’re holding short of Hotel – Alpha”
Ground: “Who is that?”
JBU707: “Sir, that’s Jetblue 707″
Ground: “And you’re WHEEEEH, and you’re doing WHAT, short of WHO?’
It goes to show that its better to be in the cockpit rather than on the ground!