Actor Alec Baldwin, who recently got booted off an American Airlines flight for behaving badly, has appeared on Saturday Night Live’s "Weekend Update" segment dressed as an American Airlines captain wearing the three-stripe uniform of a first officer in order to apologize to himself.
However and in case you are in a location, most likely anywhere outside the USA, where you can’t watch the video, the segment is also available on Youtube here – until the copyright police pull them! Likewise, we have included the full transcript below as it appeared in the Dallas Morning News’ Airline Biz Blog.
Seth Meyers: "On Wednesday of this week, actor Alec Baldwin was kicked off an American Airlines flight after he refused to turn off his phone and stop playing ‘Words with Friends.’ Now here to comment, the pilot of that flight, Capt. Steve Rogers. Thanks so much for coming, captain."
Alec Baldwin: "Thanks for having me, Seth."
MEYERS: "So, Capt. Rogers, what’s your take on the events of last Wednesday?"
BALDWIN: "It was awful, Seth, which is why it was very important for me to come here tonight and, on behalf of everyone at American Airlines, issue an apology to Mr. Alec Baldwin."
MEYERS: In a stage whisper ("Alec, are you sure this is the right way to handle this?")
BALDWIN: ("Yeah, yeah, keep going, keep going.")
MEYERS: "So let me get this straight – you, Capt. Rogers, want to apologize to Alec Baldwin."
BALDWIN: "Yes, Mr. Baldwin is an American treasure, and I am ashamed at the way he was treated. I mean, what harm would it do to let him keep playing his game. Not any game, mind you, but a word game for smart people."
MEYERS: "But, Capt. Rogers, don’t phones interfere with the plane’s communications systems?"
BALDWIN: "Oh, you don’t believe that, do you, Seth? Would you really get on a plane that flew 30,000 feet in the air if you thought one Kindle switch could take it down? C’mon! It’s just a cruel joke perpetrated by the airline industry. We would have gotten away with it, but Alec Baldwin was just too smart for us. He really is something, Seth."
MEYERS: ("Seriously, Alec, I just don’t think this is…")
BALDWIN: ("Keep going, keep going.")
MEYERS: "But didn’t Alec Baldwin getting kicked off the airplane delay the takeoff?"
BALDWIN: "It did. It did. And it was the first time in the history of American Airlines that one of our flights was delayed. C’MON, SETH! We’re bankrupt. How dare we speak ill of the great Alec Baldwin and we can’t even take off on time?"
MEYERS: "It was also reported Alec Baldwin slammed the bathroom door so loudly that you could hear it in the cockpit."
BALDWIN: "Now, Seth, Words with Friends can be frustrating, and again, I just started to play the game myself. But when you think you’re about to play ‘JAILERS’ off of someone’s ‘QUICHE’ and then you realize that you don’t have the ‘I,’ let me tell you, that’ll make you slam the bathroom door, too. Besides, when I go to the bathroom on a plane, I always want that door slammed nice and tight, doesn’t everyone? Gee willikers!"
MEYERS: "Ok, Alec, this is too much. I don’t want to be part of this any more."
BALDWIN: "Seth, I’m not Alec. Do you hear me? But I wish I was. That man’s a hero, a smart hero."
MEYERS: (Sending Alec Baldwin off camera) "Capt. Steve Rogers!"
BALDWIN: "Y’all fly safe now."