Before it was revealed just why that Northwest crew missed the Minneapolis airport, a number of bloggers and comedians had come up with their own “top 10” lists of reasons or excuses. Rob Mark, the editor of Jetwhine, wrote:
10. They were texting
9. It had something to do with sex
8. Each pilot thought the airplane knew the way since Airbus aircraft are all automated anyway
7. They really did just fall asleep
6. They couldn’t decide who should have the Nintendo Wii next
5. It had something to do with sex or money
4. It had something to do with sex and money
3. They were trying to understand NWA’s new slogan, ” We’ll get you within 150 miles of there.”
2. The pilots actually have no idea why they weren’t paying attention
1. They were abducted by aliens, but were returned an hour later because even the little green men couldn’t stand to listen to these two guys whine about the company any longer.
In response to Rob, Clif Moberg came up with this list:
10. Pilots were just trying to boost all their passengers’ frequent flier miles.
9. The weather was so nice that they decided to just keep on flying.
8. Pilot was allergic to Minnesota.
7. Testing out script ideas for the Airport 5 sequel.
6. Accidentally bought a package of “Nosedive” instead of “Nodoz” at the terminal.
5. Plane was due for regular maintenance at Minneapolis and their favorite mechanic was out with the swine flu.
5. Pilot missed his turnoff.
3. Pilot and co-pilot thought they could get combat pay for when the F-16s started scrambling.
2. Pilot wanted to fly over his home and tip the wings because it was his kid’s birthday.
1. Pilot just takes the term “non-stop flight” to darn seriously!
Meanwhile, Aviatrix of Cockpit Conversation wrote:
10. intense discussion of company policy.
8. playing a game of chicken on when to start the descent.
7. waiting for the movie to end.
6. hoping for some talk show appearances to jumpstart new careers as "celebrities."
5. flying over the captain’s girl friend’s house to check for a strange car in the driveway.
4. trying to confirm rumors of a "Tetris mode" on the FMS.
3. joining the six-mile-high club.
2. abducted by aliens for two weeks, then replaced in the cockpit with no memory of the event, and only an hour later in Earth time.
1. just wanted to supplement their pay cheques with a couple of hours extra pay.
And finally, late night Comedian David Letterman came up with this list of reasons:
10. Bunch of fat guys seated on right side of plane made us vector east.
9. We get paid by the hour.
8. MapQuest always takes you the long way, am I right, people?
7. Tired of that show-off Sullenberger getting all the attention.
6. You try steering one of those airplanes after eight or nine cocktails.
5. Wanted to catch end of in-flight movie.
4. Activating autopilot and making occasional P.A. announcements is exhausting.
3. According to our map, we only missed target by half-an-inch.
2. For a change, decided to send luggage to the right city and lose the passengers.
1. Thought we saw Balloon Boy.
abducted by aliens for two weeks, then replaced in the cockpit with no memory of the event, and only an hour later in Earth time.
I love this.
Max Trescott says
I too posted an alien abduction comment when I saw Rob's article. I've never given it much credence before, but it seems like the only plausible explanation. Hopefully the aliens will consider hiring the two pilots to fly their saucers. Otherwise, I think they may have a hard time finding another job in aviation anytime soon!
Excellent! I'll keep these handy in case I need them myself!
Ok this is my favourite: Each pilot thought the airplane knew the way since Airbus aircraft are all automated anyway