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Golf Hotel Whiskey: for pilots and aviation enthusiasts

Funny airline abbreviations…

Let us know if we have left any out!

  • AA (American Airlines) – Always Awful
  • AI (Air India) – Allah Informed
  • ALITALIA – Always Late In Takeoff Always Late In Arrival, Air Line In Tokyo And Luggage In Amsterdam
  • BOAC (British Overseas Airways Corp.) – Better On A Camel, Bloody Old and Careless
  • CA (China Airlines) – Choose Another
  • CAAC (Civil Aviation Authority of China ?) – Chinese Airline Always Canceled, China Airlines Almost (Always) Crashes
  • CPA (Canadian Airl.Intl.) – Can’t Promise Anything (New code CAI) – Crash And Ignite, Call Ambulance Immediately, Circle Airport Indefinitely, Cruise Above Iceland, Cancel Alaskan Itinerary, Call Attendants "Idiots," Check All Items, Copilots Are Imbeciles, Casual Atmosphere Inside
  • DELTA – Don’t Even Leave The Airport, Don’t Ever Leave The Airport, Don’t Even Let Them Aboard (referring to the arabs?), Departing Even Later Than Anticipated
  • EAL (Eastern) – Eastern’s Always Late
  • ELAL – Every Landing Always Late
  • JAT (Yugoslav Airlines)- Joke About Time
  • KLM = Koop Lockheed Majesteit (Buy Lockheed, Your majesty, after the Lockheed bribe scandal which involved HRH Prince Bernhard of the Netherlands)
  • LOT (Polish Airlines) – Last One There, Luggage On Tarmack (wave ‘bye!)
  • LUFTHANSA – Let Us Fuck The Horses, Are No Stewardesses Available
  • PA (Philippine Airways)- Please Avoid
  • PAL (Phil. Airlines) – Philippines Always Late
  • PAN AM – Plan On Arriving Nervewracked And Mad
  • PIA (Pakistan Intl.Airl) – Please Inform Allah, Panic In Air, Perhaps I Arrive
  • SABENA (Belgium) – Such A Bloody Experience, Never Again, Such A Bad Experience, Never Again
  • SAHSA (Servicio Aero Honduras SA) – Stay At Home, Stay Alive
  • SAS (Scandinavian Airl. System) – Sweet And Sexy, Sex And Service
  • SIA (Singapore Intl.Airl.) – So Incredible, Aah
  • TACA – Take A Chance Airline
  • TAP (Portuguese Airl.) – Take Another Plane
  • TRANSAVIA – To Rape A New Stewardess After V1 Is Allowed.
  • TWA (Transworld Airl.) – Travel Without Arrival, Try Walking, Asshole , Try Walking Again, The Worst Airline, Took Wrong Airline, Try Walking Across (transatlantic perspective), Travel With Arabs, Terrorist Welcome Aboard, Terrorists With Arms, Teenie Weenie Airlines, Traveling Without Air, Tiny Wings Aflappin , Time Waste Airlines
  • Usair – Unfortunately, Still Alleghany In Reality

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Steve says

    January 31, 2011 at 13:41

    DELTA: Driving Every Loyal Traveler Away

    ^ My fave 😉

    Reply
  2. Mike Naylor says

    February 6, 2011 at 19:57

    KLM – sorry this one only works in Dutch.

    Knonw by its employees as

    Klein Loon Maatschappij (=Small Pay Company)

    Reply
    • Matthew Stibbe says

      February 8, 2011 at 17:14

      Heel grappig. Dank je wel! 🙂

      Reply
    • hans says

      July 16, 2020 at 00:56

      KLOTE LUCHTVAART MAATSCHAPPIJ

      Reply
  3. Tyler says

    April 12, 2011 at 21:52

    QANTAS – Queer And Nasty, Try Another Service

    Reply
  4. TDK says

    July 1, 2011 at 11:19

    I was told some of these a few years ago and had forgotten the excellent Sabena one amongst others, but I do recall

    KLM="Kills, Lames, Maims"

    BA="Bloody Awful"

    Reply
  5. Pamela White says

    May 9, 2016 at 14:25

    TWA= Top Wop Aboard

    Reply
  6. FGB says

    August 29, 2016 at 16:22

    JAL=Jeopardizes All Lives

    Reply
  7. Si Boceh says

    February 18, 2017 at 11:35

    LION Late Is Our Nature

    Reply
  8. José Roseira says

    May 13, 2019 at 17:30

    AIRLINE ABBREVIATIONS AND THEIR MEANINGS

    Heaven in European Aviation is when the Pilot is German, the Air Traffic Controller is British, the Cook is French, the Lover ltalian and it’s all organized by a Swiss.
    Hell in European Aviation is when the Pilot is French, the Air Traffic Controller is German, the Cook is British, the Lover is Swiss and it’s all organized by an Italian.

    ATP (British Aerospace Advanced Technology Plane)
    Advanced Transport Problems
    Always Technical Problems Another Terrible Plane

    EROPS (Extended Range Operations)
    Engines Running Or Passengers Swimming

    SAAB (Swedish Aircraft Manufacturer)
    Send Another Aircraft Behind

    AEROFLOT (Soviet Airlines)
    An Extensive Russian Offer From Land Of Tundra

    AEF (Aero Lloyd)
    Abenteuer Erlebnis Flug

    AIR FRANCE (French National Carrier)
    All Intelligents Restrain From Releaving Air-france’s Nasty Concorde Experiments
    Air France – Air Chance

    AF (Air France)
    Attention Forrest – Attention Forrêt

    ALIA (Royal Jordanian Airlines)
    Always Late In Arrival

    ALITALIA (Italy’s World Airline)
    Always Late In Take-off And Late ln Arrival
    Am Landed In Tokyo And Luggage ln Africa

    AUA (Austrian Airlines)
    Absolut Unterbezahlte Angestellte
    Absolutely Unnecessary Airline
    Alles Uralte Airhostessen
    Always Under Alcohol
    Another Useless Airline
    Aussteigen Umsteigen Autobus

    BEA (British European Airways, now part of British Airways)
    Back Every Afternoon
    Better Eat Afterwards
    Britain’s Excuse for an Airline

    BOAC (British Overseas Airways Corporation, now part of British Airways)
    Bend Over Again Christine
    Best Organized Air Crash
    Better On A Camel
    Better Organized After Christmas

    BA (British Airways)
    Bloody Awful

    BWIA (British West Indian Airways)
    British Worst Investment Abroad

    CAA (Civil Aviation Authority (UK))
    Campaign Against Aviation

    CPA (Canadian Pacific Air, now Canadian Airlines International)
    Coins and Pennies Accepted

    CAAC (Airline of the People’s Republic of China)
    Cancel At All Cost
    China Airways Always Cancelled
    Crash All Around China

    CONDOR (German Charter Airline)
    Company Of Neckermann, Delays On Request

    CROSSAIR (Swiss Regional Airline)
    Company Running Only Sex Starved AIRhostesses
    Company Running On Suter’s Stupid And Idiot Rules

    DAN AIR
    Day And Night : Aircraft Irregular Rotation
    Dispensation Always Necessary

    DELTA (Delta Air Lines)
    Don’t Ever Leave The Airport
    DLH (Deutsche Lufthansa)
    Deutsche Luft-Hopser
    Drives Like Hell

    DLT (German Regional Carrier)
    Der Letzte Trouble
    Deutsche Luft Tragödie
    Deutscher Leichen Transport
    Deutscher Lust Transport

    EL AL (Israel Airlines)
    Entführer Landen Als Leichen
    Every Landing Always Late
    Every Luggage Always Lost

    FINNAIR (Finnish Airlines)
    Flying ls Nothing, Nourishing Altitude Is Revolutionary

    GARUDA (Indonesian Airways)
    Good And Reliable Under Dutch Administration

    IBERIA (Spanish Airlines)
    I Buy Engines Repaired In’ Africa
    Im Bruch Erfahren, Routiniert Im Absturz

    JAL (Japan Air Lines)
    Jede Andere Lieber
    Joins Always Late

    JAT (Yugoslav Airlines)
    Jesus And Tito
    Jesus Attends Take-off
    Jet Assisted Trial
    Joke About Time

    KLM (Royal Dutch Airlines)
    Keep Loving Me
    Keine Lust Mehr
    Keiner Liebt Mich
    Kenner Lieben Mollige
    Königliche Lust-Molche
    Komm Lieber Morgen

    LAA (Libyan Arab Airlines)
    Leave Arabs Alone
    Libyans Are Angry

    LAM (Linhas Aéreas de Moçambique)
    Last Available Maintenance

    LAN (Airlines of Chile)
    Love After Noon

    LAUDA (Austria’s Independent Airline)
    Lieber Auf Umwegen, Dann Abwarten
    Like Always : Unfriendly Dull Airline

    LOT (Polish Airlines)
    Lack Of Technology
    Landing On Tempelhof
    Lashing Of Turbulence
    Liebe Ohne Tragflãchen
    Lots Of Time
    Lots Of Trouble

    LTE (Internacional Airways)
    Late Take-off Expected

    LTS (Luft-Transport Süd (LTU Subsidiary))
    Later Than Schedule

    LTU (German Charter Airline)
    Later Than Usual
    Läßt Touristen Umherstehen
    Landes-Trottel-Union
    Lauter Trottel Unterwegs
    Lieber Tot Umfallen

    LUFTHANSA (Deutsche Lufthansa – German Airlines)
    Let Us Fuck The Hostess As No Steward Available
    Lousy Useless Fucking Terrible Hopeless Airline Never Stays Airborne

    MEA (Middle East Airlines)
    Most Empty Airline
    Most Explosive Airline

    NWA (Northwest Airlines)
    Never Will Arrive

    NFD (Nürnberger Flugdienst)
    Nix Für Dumme
    Nobody Flies Deeper
    Nur Für Dumme

    OLYMPIC (Greek Airline)
    Onassis Liked Your Money Paid In Cash

    PAA (Pan American World Airways)
    Papa’s Ageing Aircraft
    Papa’s Ageing Airline
    Prostitutes Always Available
    Prefer Another Airline

    PAN AM (Pan American World Airways)
    Passengers Are Not Allowed Mating
    Pilots Ain’t Navigating Any More

    PAL (Philippine Airlines
    Plane Always Late

    PIA (Pakistan Internacional Airlines)
    Perhaps I’ll Arrive
    Please Inform Allah
    AI (Air India)
    Allah Informed

    QANTAS (of Australia)
    Queer And Nice Type Air Steward
    Queers And Nymphomaniacs Trained As Stewards
    Quite A Nice Take-off. Any Survivors ?

    SAA (South African Airways)
    Seating Accommodation Available

    SAS (Scandinavian Airline System)
    Same As Sabena
    Scandinavian – Yes * Airline Maybe * System No
    Scandinavian Alcoholic System
    Scandinavians Are Sexy
    Scandinavians Are Sweet
    Scotch And Soda
    Sex After Service
    Sex After Six
    Sex And Satisfaction
    Stewardesses Are Stupid
    Stone Age Service
    Such Accuracy Surprises
    Sweet And Sexy

    SABENA (Belgian World Airlines)
    Sauf Accident Bien Entendu Nous Arriverons
    Such A Beauty, Every Night Action
    Such A Bloody Experience Never Again

    SPANTAX (Spanish Charter Airline)
    Sincere Prayers Are Necessary, Transporting Always Xenophobes

    SWISSAIR (The Airline of Switzerland)
    Sex Without Interruption Swiftly Served At lATA Rates
    Sexy Women In Swissair Service Are Indeed Rare
    Sie Werden Immer So Schuften, Sogar Im Ruhestand
    Sie Werden Immer Schuften, Sogar An Ihrem Ruhetag

    TAP (The Airline Of Portugal)
    Take Another Plane
    Transportes Aéreos Pré-historicos
    Transportes Assim, Porra !
    Transportes Atrasados Permanentemente
    Try Another Portuguese

    TAROM (Romanian Air Transport)
    Take-off Aborted. Reason : Overloaded Machine

    TIA (Trens International Airlines)
    Travel In Agony

    TMA (Trans Mediterranean Airlines)
    Takes your Money Away
    Trans Müll-Abfuhr

    TWA (Trans World Airlines)
    Take Waste Away
    Terrific Women Aboard
    Terrorism Wins Again
    Thanks for Waiting Awhile
    The Worst Adventure
    Thousands Wondering Aimlessly
    Transport Without Assistance
    Travel With American
    Travel With Angels
    Try Wait Awhile
    Try Walking Across
    Tuesday Wednesday Anyday
    Two Weeks After

    UAA (United Arab Airlines (now Egyptair))
    Use Another Airline

    UL (Air Lanka)
    Usually Late

    UTA (Union des Transports Aeriens (formerly a French Independent))
    Une Triste Affaire
    Unknown Transport Ahead

    VARIG (Airlines of Brazil)
    Various Arrivals Repeated In General
    Virgins Are Rare In Germany

    YP (Aero LLoyd)
    Your Problem

    Reply
  9. Norberto says

    March 12, 2020 at 16:57

    GARUDA – Good And Reliable Until Delay Announced

    Reply
  10. Dantheman says

    January 4, 2022 at 16:04

    DELTA – Diverted Everyone’s Luggage To Atlanta

    US AIR – Underwater Seats Available In Rear (refers to Captain Sullenberger’s ditching in the Hudson River—the airplane began filling up with water and the seats in the rear of the cabin were submerged)

    ONA (Overseas National Airways) – Often Never Arrives – or Oh Never Again

    Reply
  11. Sami says

    February 3, 2022 at 17:31

    FINNAIR – Flying Is Normally to the North Above Innumerable Reindeer

    Reply
  12. Mach.86 says

    February 23, 2022 at 07:10

    Anything for United Airlines (UAL)?

    Eastern Air Lines (EAL)?

    Reply
  13. Sarah says

    February 5, 2023 at 07:55

    QANTAS – Quite A Nice Trip All Survived

    Reply

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Matthew Stibbe
Matthew Stibbe is CEO of Articulate Marketing and Turbine, the easy, online way to deal with office paperwork. He has an FAA CPL/IR and an EASA PPL/IR and sometimes flies a Cirrus SR-22. He also writes about wine at Vincarta and being a better manager at Geek Boss.
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