Things I don’t expect to hear soon

Terry Maxon (along with Eric Torbenson) of the Airplane Biz blog has just posted a list of items that you WON’T hear anytime soon and is well worth repeating again here as they will definitely make you laugh for their timeliness!

1. A union saying that now (or ever) is a bad time for a pay increase.

2. An airline saying that now (or ever) is a good time for a pay increase.

3. An airline saying that its request for antitrust immunity would be bad for its passengers.

4. Virgin Atlantic saying that an American-British Airways alliance wouldn’t be all that bad for competition overall, although bad for Virgin Atlantic.

5. A doctor saying after operating on a star athlete that the procedure went badly.

6. A company saying that it cut benefits to employees just because it could, not because it was justified.

7. An airline saying that it was imposing a fee just because it could, not because it was justified.

8. An airline saying it was its fault that it kept passengers on a grounded airplane for five hours (or six or nine).

9. An airport saying maybe it didn’t really need to build that next new terminal after all.

10. An airport saying maybe it shouldn’t have built that last new terminal after all.

11. A turnpike authority saying it was going to pay off a road’s debt and make it free.

12. An airport naming the 25 airports that have cheaper parking than it rather than the 10 with more expensive parking rates.

13. A company saying that a survey of comparable companies showed that its executives were paid too much.

14. An airline sending out a press release to announce a fare hike.

15. A union saying its members were getting too much rest.

16. An airline saying its employees worked too hard and didn’t get enough rest.

17. A sports team announcing that it was going to actually build the restaurants, hotels, stores and theaters promised when it got voters to approve a tax for its new stadium or arena.

18. A company saying that it welcomes competition and really meaning it.

19. An airline saying that the fees it added to counter $140 oil would be rolled back in the face of $70 oil.

20. An airline analyst telling the CEO and CFO on a quarterly earnings call: "Your results were really bad, guys," instead of "good quarter, guys" when the airline has lost tens of millions of dollars.

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