A checkride ought to be like a skirt, short enough to be interesting but still be long enough to cover everything.
Why a co-pilot can never win
A copilot is a knot head until he spots opposite direction traffic at 12 o’clock, after which he’s a goof-off for not seeing it sooner…
What is the difference between a duck and a co-pilot?
Funny airline abbreviations…
Let us know if we have left any out!
- AA (American Airlines) – Always Awful
- AI (Air India) – Allah Informed
- ALITALIA – Always Late In Takeoff Always Late In Arrival, Air Line In Tokyo And Luggage In Amsterdam
- BOAC (British Overseas Airways Corp.) – Better On A Camel, Bloody Old and Careless
- CA (China Airlines) – Choose Another
- CAAC (Civil Aviation Authority of China ?) – Chinese Airline Always Canceled, China Airlines Almost (Always) Crashes
- CPA (Canadian Airl.Intl.) – Can’t Promise Anything (New code CAI) – Crash And Ignite, Call Ambulance Immediately, Circle Airport Indefinitely, Cruise Above Iceland, Cancel Alaskan Itinerary, Call Attendants "Idiots," Check All Items, Copilots Are Imbeciles, Casual Atmosphere Inside
- DELTA – Don’t Even Leave The Airport, Don’t Ever Leave The Airport, Don’t Even Let Them Aboard (referring to the arabs?), Departing Even Later Than Anticipated
- EAL (Eastern) – Eastern’s Always Late
- ELAL – Every Landing Always Late
- JAT (Yugoslav Airlines)- Joke About Time
- KLM = Koop Lockheed Majesteit (Buy Lockheed, Your majesty, after the Lockheed bribe scandal which involved HRH Prince Bernhard of the Netherlands)
- LOT (Polish Airlines) – Last One There, Luggage On Tarmack (wave ‘bye!)
- LUFTHANSA – Let Us Fuck The Horses, Are No Stewardesses Available
- PA (Philippine Airways)- Please Avoid
- PAL (Phil. Airlines) – Philippines Always Late
- PAN AM – Plan On Arriving Nervewracked And Mad
- PIA (Pakistan Intl.Airl) – Please Inform Allah, Panic In Air, Perhaps I Arrive
- SABENA (Belgium) – Such A Bloody Experience, Never Again, Such A Bad Experience, Never Again
- SAHSA (Servicio Aero Honduras SA) – Stay At Home, Stay Alive
- SAS (Scandinavian Airl. System) – Sweet And Sexy, Sex And Service
- SIA (Singapore Intl.Airl.) – So Incredible, Aah
- TACA – Take A Chance Airline
- TAP (Portuguese Airl.) – Take Another Plane
- TRANSAVIA – To Rape A New Stewardess After V1 Is Allowed.
- TWA (Transworld Airl.) – Travel Without Arrival, Try Walking, Asshole , Try Walking Again, The Worst Airline, Took Wrong Airline, Try Walking Across (transatlantic perspective), Travel With Arabs, Terrorist Welcome Aboard, Terrorists With Arms, Teenie Weenie Airlines, Traveling Without Air, Tiny Wings Aflappin , Time Waste Airlines
- Usair – Unfortunately, Still Alleghany In Reality
Rules to determine who designed an aircraft…
If it’s ugly, it’s British…
If it’s weird, it’s French…
And if it’s ugly and weird, it’s Russian…
Basic flying rules
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.